Start Early, Show Up, and Get the Letters That Help You Stand Out

For many high-school students, college applications are the first time they’ll ask for a letter of recommendation. But it likely won’t be the last. Many job, internship, and graduate school applications also require letters, so this is a valuable skill to build early—and one that will serve you for years to come.

The most important thing about letters of recommendation is that you should start the process early. The best time to build relationships is before you need them, so as early as freshman year, make sure you show up in class in the way you’d want to be seen.

Here’s a complete guide to how and when to ask, whom to ask, and how to get the best letter possible.

Why Colleges Ask for Letters of Recommendation

Colleges use recommendations to learn things they can’t get from transcripts, test scores, or résumés, i.e., to get a genuine sense of your character, intellect, and how you show up in a classroom or community. They’re looking for meaningful insights into students. For example, a good letter might address:

• The student’s character: How have you shown qualities like kindness, resilience, or concern for the community in class, even when you thought no one was watching?
• Class participation: Do you speak up and help your peers? How do you lead group projects? These letters help colleges understand how you work with others.
• Intellectual traits: Do you show curiosity? Initiative? Leadership? The best letters offer vivid stories, like organizing a class debate or finding a creative solution to a tough assignment.
• Academic ability: Can you handle the college workload without handholding? Have you earned your grades through your own effort?
• Overcoming challenges: If you’ve faced adversity—personally or academically—a letter can speak to how you handled it.
• Extenuating circumstances: If a student succeeded despite unusual obstacles (illness, family responsibilities, etc.), a recommendation can add essential context.

Who Should You Ask?

The best letters come from people who know you well and can speak with conviction about your strengths. Ideally:

• Your school counselor (often required)
• Two 11th-grade academic teachers, ideally one from a humanities or language class, and one from a STEM class

That said, this isn’t a hard rule, and there are extenuating circumstances. Sometimes, a 10th-grade teacher’s recommendation might work. Also, some colleges will only accept one teacher recommendation, and a few will consider a third one. Generally, more isn’t better. Try not to overwhelm the reader with the number of letters. Instead, try to focus on teachers who can write about differing parts of your character and experience, so each letter adds something new.

Some colleges will accept an “other” recommender—a theater director, coach, or club advisor, for example, especially if they’ve seen you grow over time. This can be great to use if the college allows it, but again, focus on quality, not quantity.

Whatever the subject, choose someone who can share meaningful details. A teacher who says, “She’s one of the top three students I’ve taught in 25 years” carries a lot more weight than one who says, “He was a pleasure to have in class.“

Finally, not all colleges accept letters of recommendation. Some institutions, such as the University of California System or the California State University system, will not consider them as part of their admissions process due to equity concerns. Follow their instructions. They’re not secretly considering letters of recommendation they didn’t ask for!

When to Ask (and How)

Ask early. Some teachers have a limit on the number of recommendations they will write, and are overwhelmed with requests in the fall. So ask:

• Before the end of junior year or
• During the first two weeks of senior year

Ask in person if you can. If not, a thoughtful email works too. Here’s a basic structure you can adapt:

Sample email:

Subject: Letter of Recommendation Request

Dear [Teacher’s Name],

I really enjoyed your [subject] class last year, and I learned a lot from your feedback and support. I’m applying to college this fall, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to write a letter of recommendation for me.

I’ve attached a résumé and a list of colleges I’m applying to, along with deadlines. I’d like my letter completed by [date]. Please let me know if there’s anything else you need.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your time.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

Make It Easy for Your Recommender

The more organized you are, the better the letter will be. Here’s how to help:

• Prepare a résumé or brag sheet. Include extracurriculars, leadership roles, summer programs, and what you hope to study. Many teachers have a process they’d like you to follow, and if so, please follow it.
• Share a college list and deadlines. Be clear about when and where each letter is due. Generally, ask that the letter be completed two weeks before the earliest deadline for a college that will consider recommendations.
• Put everything in one place. Whether it’s a Google folder or a single PDF, make it easy to find.
• Ask about their deadlines. Many teachers have internal timelines and a limit on how many letters they’ll write.
• Follow up politely. A friendly reminder 2–3 weeks before a deadline is helpful, not annoying.
• Thank your recommender after they’ve submitted the letter: A handwritten note is wonderful, but even an email is great.

Understanding the FERPA Waiver

On the Common App, you’ll be asked whether you want to waive your FERPA rights—your right to read your recommendation letters later. FERPA (The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act) is a federal law that grants students and families the right to see materials the school creates about them.

Most students should waive this right. Why?

• It tells colleges the letter is honest and confidential.
• Some teachers and counselors won’t write letters unless the student waives FERPA.
• Many colleges will not read letters of recommendation that aren’t confidential.

What Makes a Letter Truly Great

Strong letters don’t just list adjectives. They tell stories.

• A teacher might describe how you helped a struggling student with math every lunch period.
• Or how you challenged a perspective in class with thoughtfulness and grace.
• Or how you bounced back after a rough start and raised your grade with persistence.

That kind of detail helps colleges see you in their classrooms and communities.

Tips for Teachers (and Great Resources)

Teachers are busy and often unsure what colleges are actually looking for. If a teacher asks for some information or a template, it’s okay to share helpful resources. These are excellent:

• MIT Admissions: What Makes a Good Letter of Recommendation
• ASU’s Sample Recommendation Letter
• Jeff Schiffman’s Dos and Don’ts (Former Director of Admission at Tulane)

Occasionally, a teacher will ask a student to write a draft letter. This is often a challenge because the draft a student creates will often be too full of praise or overly humble. Make sure you draft something that has the kinds of details you’d like to have included, and avoid using too many adjectives.

A Note for Parents

You can’t write your child’s recommendation letter, but you can support the process.

• Help your student stay on top of deadlines
• Offer feedback on their résumé or college list
• Encourage them to thank their recommenders, and maybe even write a handwritten note

Just don’t nudge the teacher, write the letter, or edit it behind the scenes. Colleges can tell.

Final Thoughts

Building relationships is a habit you can start early. Whether it’s showing up for office hours, staying after practice, or simply being engaged, those relationships are the foundation for strong recommendations—and much more.

Because no matter where life takes you, your ability to build meaningful relationships will shape your success.